Not bad!!

13st6
2lb gained over 2 weeks
1st1lbs lost
3st6lbs to go

I was expecting to have gained a lot this week. I went to my weightwatcher’s meeting for the first time in over a month, and only gained 1lb over that time.

I’m rather impressed! I have rewarded myself with a rather lovely bracelett that has been sitting in my reward box since I bought it at the Vitality show in March. Well-earned I reckon!!

So, now I’m well enough to go back to WW, I think it’s time to set myself a goal* for the coming week. I think it would be achievable and sensible to aim for a 1.5lb loss. 13st4lbs is my goal.

Go girl, Go!!!

 

*I set my weekly goals using my Weekly Review and Planner sheet.

Bustin outta my clothes!!!

Oh dear!!! Does someone have a wonder-pill that could give me my motivation, drive and energy back? Answers on a postcard please!

I’ve not dared to step on the scales for a week or so- but if the fit of my clothes are anything to go buy, I should be getting seriously worried by now. If it were not for the fact that it’s impossible, I would seriously be questioning whether I really AM pregnant! No, really. My belly is expanding to ginormous proportions.

I really, really, have tried everything to get my motivation back. I’m forever dreaming up some new tactic, some new tool, some new plan, to lose this weight, but for some reason I have no focus. I have no drive, where I once had complete and utter drive and determination and focus to do this.

Oh, I have my plans alright. I have the timeframe I set myself to be at my goal, I have the visualisation of how I will look and feel when I get there down to a T. But I just.aint.getting.there. At all.

I know exactly what I need to do to get to my goal. I have all the tools and instructions and support I could ever ask for, and what’s more, I know it works. But one thing is missing, and that’s the most important thing. Somewhere between my ears, it just aint happening.

There’s never been a more determined person than I am. Determined to do this, I mean. So what needs to happen? I know what I’d like to do. I’d like to hit the gym day after day, and eat half of what I’m eating right now. But I can’t. If I don’t eat enough I get hypoglycaema, and if I exercise I quickly become bedbound.

But am I making excuses? I CAN lose weight, in SPITE of my difficulties. I know it can be done because I lost over 2 stone a year or so ago. I just need to buckle down and DO IT.

JUST DO IT!!!

 

 

Weigh-in wonders

13st4
1lb lost this week
1st3lbs lost
3st4lbs to go

I’m still feeling quite mashed-up health-wise, so I decided not to go to WW again today. I’ve got a lot going on at the moment and felt that a day resting at home was more valuable than pushing myself to get to weightwatchers.

I weighed myself on my home scales and I’ve lost a pound this week. I’m really pleased about this because I haven’t been tracking my food intake at all.

I have, however, been eating my nuts and seeds for snacks and that’s been going well. Also, I think the warmer weather has reduced my cravings so I’m making better food choices and finding it easier to recognise when I am not hungry.

Or maybe it’s the nuts and seeds reducing the cravings?

Anyway, all round a good week considering. Here’s to next week!

Setting goals and rewarding yourself

I think it is very, very important to reward myself at every step of my weight-loss journey. This is especially important when my weight-loss is going slowly and when I am losing motivation to continue.

I reward myself for two things. Firstly for reaching my weekly goal, and secondly for reaching every quarter-stone mark.

My weekly goal

Each week, I fill out a ‘weekly review’ sheet that I devised for myself. I review the week just gone, and plan the following week’s targets and goals. I also record how much weight I have lost in total and add a pound coin to my money box for every lb I lose.

I set a goal for the following week. This may be to track my food intake, or to use one of the tools mentioned here. And I also choose a small reward from my box of treasures. I am a crafter, so my reward is usually a pack of ribbons or small embellishments worth a pound or two, but nice enough for me to want!

My chosen reward then sits in a prominent place all week, reminding me of my goal and spurring me on to succeed.

My weight goals

I use larger rewards for my quarter-stone targets. They might cost anything up to ten pounds, which may sound a lot. That’s fourty pounds spent on myself for each stone I lose. But when you realise that I might only lose a stone in three months (due to my health), these rewards become quite important to keep me going.

I then have even bigger rewards for each stone I reach, and for losing 10%, 20% and 30% of my body weight.

And one day I will be giving myself the greatest reward of all- when I reach my goal weight!!!

Motivation for change

I think anyone thinking about enhancing their health or losing weight should take a look at Pete Cohen’s  Ultimate anti-health plan It’s a powerful way of thinking about the consequences of your actions and spurring you on to change.

We all know that food can affect us, but it’s so easy to know the facts- and yet not make the changes we need to make in order to feel healthier.

When you have a chronic health problem, it seems even harder sometimes to find the energy and motivation to change. When you are feeling completely and utterly ill, the last thing on your mind is ‘deprivation’. And I guess that’s where the problem arises.

We think of eating healthily as ‘deprivation’. I mean, how mixed-up is that? Somewhere, we have been wired to see the chocolate, cakes, ice-cream and crisps as some kind of ‘treat’ that we ‘deserve’. And to see the ‘healthy’ foods as the boring and bland option.

What if you had, say, a chocolate bar and an apple sitting in front of you. And you could have them both? Would you eat the chocolate first and leave the apple behind? Until the apple got all wrinkly and you had to throw it away?

So how can we turn things round to realising that making nutritious, wholesome food choices is in fact the biggest treat we can ever award ourselves? How can we start to believe that our bodies deserve to be fueled with energy- and vitality-giving foods?

How can we start to make the choices that will not only help us lose weight but also feel better health-wise?

Is cold-turkey the answer? Anyone who has ever tried a restrictive diet will tell you that it doesnt work like that- you end up craving the very thing you are denying yourself- until you give in and eat that ‘forbidden’ food like there’s no tomorrow.

But what if it wasn’t forbidden?

What if you saw that apple and chocolate, and you asked yourself, ‘do I want to feel energised and cleansed (apple) or wired and ravenous (chocolate)?’

And what if you could have some chocolate without feeling hungry the second the last crumb was gone? how could you do that? How about making a rule that for every piece of chocolate you eat, you had to have the apple FIRST?

Then you’d feel fuller, you might not even fancy the chocolate afterwards (who am I kidding?), and you would feel satisfied after having much less chocolate.

Worth a try?

Learning to be positive

I saw my dietician today. I’ve been seeing him for 1 1/2 years i think… maybe 2. i can’t remember.

Anyway, he’s an inspiring person and always manages to make me feel better about myself and my (often) weight gains. He puts everything into perspective.

Today we chatted about my recent health problems and he was impressed that in spite of it all, I had managed to gain just 2lbs in two months. I was pleasantly surprised that it was so little.

We also chatted about the countless people who have asked me if I’m pregnant, and how that makes me feel.

And we also talked about the people who say to me that maybe weight isnt my biggest problem at the moment. And we both agreed that I’m doing a sterling job of maintaining my weight in SPITE of my health problems, and if i hadn’t been trying to lose weight these last two years, I’d most likely be in size 24 clothes right now, rather than 16’s.

See? he always makes me feel better!

 

Here goes

13st5
Stayed the same this week
1st2lbs lost
3st5lbs to go

I am really pleased- after two weeks of totally rubbish health and not even tracking my food intake, I’ve managed to maintain my weight.

I’m still feeling quite low so my priority right now is my health and wellbeing. I’ve come up with the following action plan:

 

Being good to yourself

It’s time to move away from ‘dieting’ and move towards being better to yourself. Its time to nurture your body and mind in a supportive and gentle way.

You will be happier, healthier, and more energised if you focus on supporting your health, rather than depriving yourself by being on a ‘diet’.

Your priorities are:

To fuel your body with health-affirming, energising and anti-illness foods.

• To hydrate your body with cool, pure water.

• To cleanse your body from toxins and energy-drainers.

• To increase the amount of oxygen reaching every cell in your body, by deep breathing and getting outside regularly.

• To nurture your mind and emotions with herbs and essential oils.

• To take regular relaxation breaks.

Your tools are:

Looking after your mind

• Listening to the relaxation and transformation mp3 track*.

• Using essential oils

• Drinking herb teas (chamomile and peppermint)

• Shutting up the duck*

• Turning the PC off at 6.30pm

• Positive thinking and being kind to self

Eating and drinking

• Eating your meals and snacks slowly.

• Eating when you’re hungry.

• Cutting out sugar and stimulants.

• Cutting out junk food

• Cutting out artificial additives

• Eating natural foods.

• Drinking up to 2 litres of water a day.

• 7 fruit+ veg/day

• No eating in bed

• 1 portion of nuts or seeds each day

• grains and beans every day

Exercise and activity

• Being as active as you possibly can

• Going to the park

• Stretching

Looking after your body

• Having a rest each afternoon

• Going to bed on time

• Deep breathing in bed

• Clean teeth at night

• Dry skin brushing

 Of which,

• no junk food
• eat 7 portions of fruit and veg a day
• turn PC off at 6.30pm
• eat only when hungry
• eat natural

are my 5 gentle starting points.

Here goes!

*I am following Pete Cohen’s excellent online weight loss programme; those of you familiar with him will recognise the ‘duck‘ and the idea of using ‘tools’ to aid weight loss. More on Pete in future posts.

 

Total meltdown

I’m sat here with tears rolling down my cheeks. The enormity of the task ahead is totally freaking me out. I have 3 1/2 stone to loose (an estimate because I havent weighed myself for two weeks).

I felt so ready earlier on this week and yet today I am seriously doubting my ability to do this. Even to lose a pound. I know its a silly mindset because Ive lost 2 stone in the last few years, I know I can do it. Its just a shame about the stone thats gone back on.

With the ME monsters comes a feeling of not coping. Sometimes I dont have the energy to do anything more than survive. That sounds quite stark but when you are really seriously ill you can’t think much beyond the here and now. Sadly, depression is part and parcel of many chronic health conditions as well as being common in people who are overweight. And depression doesnt make it at all easy to focus on losing weight.

I’ve decided not to go to weightwatchers this week. Obviously I’m trying to do too much too soon and the feeling of being out of my depth is a common one when my ME can’t handle being ill as well as trying to lose weight.

So I’ve got a change of plan.

• weigh myself at home today
• take myself to a local park with a packed lunch, some books and magazines and a notebook
• sit under a tree and spend hours and hours alone with myself and surrounded by nature
• focus on all the things I can do to nurture myself, both with and without food
• create a gentle template of the 5 most important things I could be doing to support myself right now.

I feel calmer already. 

 

Ready or not…

…today is the eve of the new me!

Tomorrow is a new start.

My health is improving again, or at least it’s more stable, so the time is right to get back into the weight loss. And hopefully this time round I’ll be more focussed and more determined than ever to do this, and do myself proud.

today is preparation day. Going to do some more reading this afternoon, and then set up my healthy eating action plan!!

 

Time to get serious methinks

Well, not so much weight loss happening recently, as weight gain! Not quite what I had planned. But neither is it going to put me off or have me giving up. The giver-uppers are the people who don’t get to goal.

And I’m going to get to goal.

I’ve had another health crisis recently. My ME is still complaining bitterly, but I’m beginning to pick up again.

Thing is, I know that eating healthily and being good to my body helps my ME. But when I’m knackered and feeling rubbish, its those very healthy options that seem so uninviting. I really really have to get past this.

I bought a book recently called the Chronic Fatigue Healing Diet by Christine Craggs-Hinton. It is written specifically for people with ME/CFS and I read it through in one sitting. There was a lot of good stuff in it, but I’m specifically looking at increasing my intake of nuts and seeds to start with. So I bought bags of nuts and seeds and portion-divided them into 1 point portions. And I’ve been munching away ever since. I certainly feel healthier for it.

I’m also re-reading The Food Doctor by Ian Marber. I’ve figured that rather than ‘dieting’, I should be taking a far more holistic approach and addressing my particular health needs. So I’ve written up a list of my weakest points (blood sugar management, food intolerances and mood stability) and am looking at ways to address these in my diet.

I’m psyching myself up for Wednesday this week- the start of the new me. And this time, if I am going to get to goal by December, I need to be in earnest and just DO it. No more excuses and no more tipping junk into my belly. Each excuse I come to has to be met head-on and RESOLVED. If I’m worn out and need comfort food, then it will be nourishing comfort-food. If I’m getting the shakes then it will be low GI food. If I’m feeling low then it will be mood-enhancing food.

And junk will no longer be the ‘answer’ to my tiredness, illness or anything else. I’m going to move away from ‘dieting’- with all those lovely sweeteners and chemicals that involves, and move onto ‘eating for health’- with all the wholesome ingredients and health-giving nutrients THAT involves.

I can do this. I can be good to my body. I can support my health with my diet.

Roll on (weigh-day) Wednesday!