I’m very slowly beginning to make changes to my eating. For some reason, even though I am very clear that I want to lose this weight, and feel a whole load better about myself and health, there is some kind of reluctance deep down to get into things again. I guess that’s partly because I am unwell and eating is an easy way to ‘treat’ myself. At the time it feels like a treat anyway… for some reason in the moment, all I can think of is the enjoyment I will get from eating, and only regret it later when the scales show a gain.
I’ve started doing a food diary again. It seems to be helping me to see exactly how much I am eating. I’ll be sharing it with my friend tomorrow. He’s agreed to be my mentor because I’ve realised that since I left weightwatchers, I’ve lacked the structure that I seem to need in order to keep persevering with this journey. I seem to need structure in order to keep me focussed, and he has agreed to help me with that.
Day two of the food diary, yesterday, I went to Sainsburys and bought two 6-packs of crisps on special offer. As always, I promised myself this time would be different… and as always this time wasn’t different… at all! Last night I ate 7 packets of crisps. I know! SEVEN!!!! And I wonder why losing weight is so hard!
One of the weightwatchers habits from their 2005 Switch handbook is to learn from experience. I think the time has come to learn that lesson. Crisps are my downfall… I really shouldnt be buying them… and definately not in bulk. I wonder if I should write a huge banner ‘no crisps!!!’ and put it somewhere prominent! Though on the other hand, seeing the word crisps all the time would probably have the opposite effect! Oh well! I will just have to try and be good about that one. The words ’self control’ some to mind…
…I wonder if you can buy self control in the shops? 
